Don't Think About Him

NOTE: This post is filled with negativity and angst. Brace yourself.

Let's get things straight. I want to blurt this one out. That bastard. Wasting my money. Frak.

No matter how much effort you give to your justifications, I won't acknowledge it. I listened to your nonsense crap and not being close-minded here but, you don't have a point. Motherfrakker. After listening to your aspirations and "preaching", I still see that what you made us do still hasn't done anything. If only you introduced the process first. If only you introduced the proper way first, then you'll get the outcome you deserved to get.

Unfortunately, you are not exerting enough efforts to shove the lessons you want to teach. We all listened and yet, like what I said before, YOU STILL MADE NO SENSE.

NO FRAKKING SENSE AT ALL.

I already wrote a poem for you but I guess it's not enough to calm the anger that burns within me.

Maybe it's good to just drop you and forget your existence. Your sacrifice is my pleasure.

This River Is Wild

It’s all happening too fast. That’s all I can say. 

I’m still adjusting to my new section. Still. I’m still adjusting to my new home.  I’m still adjusting to something called a new lifestyle which I’m hoping I will rarely enter because it really shocks me about the consequences.

I don’t know if the term lifestyle is appropriate but… my life has drastically changed. It’s like I lost control over my life and I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing because one of my friends know that I’m a bit of a control freak when it comes to things I do and the budget I spend but today… I noticed and realized that I lost control of my steering wheel and just ride with the current or go with the flow to make it simpler.

But here’s the thing.

Quoting from The Killers' song, this river is wild and it's wild indeed. I feel the current is too strong. I find my new “lifestyle” shocking and fun but mostly shocking. Almost all the things I never thought I’ll do before, I somehow did in this era of my life. If I enumerate these things, you may find some things ridiculous because that’s how “close” my mind is and that’s how “scared” I am to get out of my shell sometimes.

I’d like to wander out of my shell but it won’t be all the time because I’m losing some priorities. I’m losing 90% of control over my life. Again, it’s nice to lose control but I’d like to limit it as I have the tendency to forget some priorities and responsibilities.

There’s one thing I can think of that I want to do now.

That is to somehow straighten my acts and myself.

Messed Up

Prelims week is almost near and I am almost panicking but I'm still calm. Did that made sense? Gah. I must concentrate on my studies.

I must. I must. I must!!

There are a lot of things to be done even during the preliminary term here. It's all exciting but it's also grueling despite the fact that I now live near the university. I'm not having troubles with the apartment and all.

It's just that I'm still adjusting myself especially my study habits in the apartment. It's not a crappy excuse and all but I'm still getting used to the environment to help me concentrate in studying and doing homework. There's also the limitation of not having any connections to the Internet except for the broadband that I borrow from a classmates who lives in the same apartment as mine. The only time I can connect is when I'm at the university and of course, I can't stay at the university for so long.

I'm messed up, am I?

Dorm Life and Other Shenanigans: Volume 2

I now live on an apartment near the university I'm studying. I've been living there for actually two weeks now. I usually come home in the weekends for the laundry and stacking up my resources. I actually never thought this would materialize. It all happened so fast but I managed. Being away from home is hard, I admit, but when I rationalize my decision, the pluses actually outweighs the minuses.

I may be away from home and for the first time, I'm living on my own. I think about what to eat and what to do for the whole day. I'm not new with planning my activities for the day though the food planning is a little difficult because I'm conscious with what I eat.

I'm adjusting to my body clock too. Now that I live near the university, I don't have to wake up in the wee hours of the morning but my body is just used to waking up. I always get up at around 6:00 AM and I'm usually the first one in the apartment awake. After waking up, I always seat on the couch outside the rooms and wait for something or someone to happen. Despite waking up too early, I rarely arrived late in my classes unlike last semester.

There are little distractions in my studies but I can do little with my assignments since I haven't brought my laptop in the apartment yet. There's no wireless Internet connection there but I'm not complaining since I needed some time off the net during weekdays.

Roommates are not pests, honestly but I'm having troubles of fitting in since we have differences and I mean big ones like tastes in music and lifestyle. (Please do not spill this one or I will end those who are responsible for the leakage.)

About sleeping, I'm always the first one to go to bed among all the boarders but when finally sleeping, I fail to keep myself in a deep sleep.

So far, I'm still adjusting to this new lifestyle but I'm looking forward to learn some lessons along the way. I don't want to get tired with traveling too much though I miss riding the train and jeepney home with the music of my taste on my earbuds. I also miss walking with my friends on the way home, joking and talking about movies.

Speaking of which, I got separated from my friends this semester.I'm also on my own in the classroom. I joined a new section where I don't know most of the people. I'm only familiar with them through the organization I joined and some of the students there became my classmates during my freshman year. It's a new environment to me. Totally different personalities from the section I came from but it's good to meet new people. Like the dorm life, I never expected this part to happen too but unlike the dorm life, I did not plan this well.

I can't compare them to my original section because these two groups have differences but all I can say so far is that I enjoy both sections though I can't help but miss my friends back in the group I came from.

Hikari

Back in my high school shenanigans, there's this girl that I met on Friendster. Yeah. I used Friendster back when Facebook was still a baby. I was still addicted with Naruto, an anime series for those who didn't know, and since I'm in puberty, I searched for character accounts of Sakura Haruno, my favorite Naruto character, on Friendster. I clicked this particular account because of the profile picture which I think is cute. I browsed at the profile and saw the e-mail address and I decided to add it up in my Yahoo! Messenger contacts. Fortunately, she accepted it. When she was logged in, I sent her a message and unexpectedly, she replied and actually, I never expect to have fun conversations with her because I'm not used with meeting people online.

Days and a few months passed and we chatted some more until she stopped logging in. I think it all stopped by the end of my sophomore year. I actually don't know what happened to her and why she never came back online.

The reason why she resurfaced on my mind is because of this song.

This song appeared on her blog which she gave me the link in one of our chatting sessions. I heard it from the video game, Kingdom Hearts. Obviously.

Now, the reason why I blurted this all out is because I want to try to look for her. I want to reconnect with her and I want to be friends with her again and possibly, be more than friends.

I liked her. Better than my "first experience" with love.

Due to Some "Technical" Inconvenience...

I can't post straight right now. I can't think very clearly lately. I don't know how it affects my self-expression but something's been keeping my mind from pouring all my thoughts here. All of it has to go somewhere, right?

Anyway, I know that I've been idle for a month and 14 days and still counting but I will be back someday to post more. Maybe by June, I can finally go back.

Thanks for understanding.

- Zepp

Just Got Sucker Punched

I'm not a big fan of Zack Snyder's works except for Dawn of the Dead since it's a horror movie but I'm attracted to his latest and first original and PG-13 film entitled Sucker Punch.

Sucker Punch deals with Baby Doll (Emily Browning), a 20 year old woman sent to an institution and is about to be lobotomized after accidentally killing her sister for defending them from her stepfather's evil motives. Now she befriended four fellow inmates: sisters Sweet Pea (Abbie Cornish) and Rocket (Jena Malone), Amber (Jamie Chung), and Blondie (Vanessa Hudgens) and they plan on escaping the asylum. As they acquire the essential items for their escape, they also undergo in these dreams where they also have to get the items for their journey to freedom while battling zombie Nazis, dragons, orcs, robots and giant samurai warriors.

It is designed as an action-fantasy in an epic scale in terms of special effects and action sequences. You will really be unprepared for the dazzling dream worlds, the breathtaking fight scenes, and the girls themselves as they kick ass. These five young women are sort of new to the fighting and violence so it's cool to see them punch, kick, and shoot. The gloomy color of the film helps sets the atmosphere and the mood for the 1950s and the story. The music and especially the soundtrack is also one of the film's advantages. I heard the whole soundtrack and I definitely love it. The film does not forget to have slow motion sequences and stylish shots which are Zack Snyder's trademarks in his films.

Here's what's disappointing with Sucker Punch. The film is bombarded with a lot of CGI flair and because of this, the movie seems to forget about the plot and the characters' growth. We have five girls to root on and sympathize but we don't have enough information why we should feel for them. We don't know enough about how they ended up in the institution. We don't even see that they grew close because of their goal. I think we can blame the film's fast pace. We can only root for them because of the celebrities who portray the girls. Rocket is actually my favorite among them because I've been a fan of Jena Malone since Saved! and lately, I just saw her in Donnie Darko and I know that she's new to the whole fighting scenes and she really looks good and bad ass.

Sucker Punch has become one of my guilty pleasures because I enjoyed it despite having little depth. It's a fun popcorn flick actually. I'll be waiting for its release on home video especially with the fact that Zack Snyder has a Director's Cut to be released on DVD. I hope the Director's Cut will be better than the theatrical version since the MPAA wants him to cut some scenes and maybe those scenes are essential in plot and character development.

If you want a fun, action-filled experience, Sucker Punch promises to give you a hell of a blow but you have to apply the suspension of disbelief to truly enjoy this movie.

RATING: 3/5

Trailer:


(Trailer courtesy of YouTube)