This River Is Wild

It’s all happening too fast. That’s all I can say. 

I’m still adjusting to my new section. Still. I’m still adjusting to my new home.  I’m still adjusting to something called a new lifestyle which I’m hoping I will rarely enter because it really shocks me about the consequences.

I don’t know if the term lifestyle is appropriate but… my life has drastically changed. It’s like I lost control over my life and I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing because one of my friends know that I’m a bit of a control freak when it comes to things I do and the budget I spend but today… I noticed and realized that I lost control of my steering wheel and just ride with the current or go with the flow to make it simpler.

But here’s the thing.

Quoting from The Killers' song, this river is wild and it's wild indeed. I feel the current is too strong. I find my new “lifestyle” shocking and fun but mostly shocking. Almost all the things I never thought I’ll do before, I somehow did in this era of my life. If I enumerate these things, you may find some things ridiculous because that’s how “close” my mind is and that’s how “scared” I am to get out of my shell sometimes.

I’d like to wander out of my shell but it won’t be all the time because I’m losing some priorities. I’m losing 90% of control over my life. Again, it’s nice to lose control but I’d like to limit it as I have the tendency to forget some priorities and responsibilities.

There’s one thing I can think of that I want to do now.

That is to somehow straighten my acts and myself.