Summer is almost ending and when it's over, it will be my last summer because if I finally get a job, there will be no two months of slacking off and lazing around. And once this summer is done, it's not the school I'll be looking forward to, it's the workplace and the school and workplace are two extremely different environments that no matter how many analogies you try to make, you still can't find a perfect one to make them similar to each other.
As the month of May goes halfway, I slowly realize that I am still not prepared for what's coming for me in the future days. I'm not talking about my skills. I'm talking about myself. I know I talked about this in the previous post and maybe you're starting to see that I'm redundant but sometimes, one post or in terms of real communication, one conversation is not enough to settle complicated things and you got it right, what I am dealing right now is extremely complicated that it can be life-changing.
I still have some unfinished business in my college life that I need to work on before summer ends for closure that might end up either good or bad. The uncertainty is killing me and my low level of guts is wearing my brain down from too much thinking. I am seriously jaded of hesitating and of going back and forth.
I'm not sure if I can still handle this alone but I'm trying really hard to deal with this by myself. I also can't talk to anyone yet about this because I still have to understand a lot about this one. Maybe a journey of self-discovery is the cure for me because before I can finally make a move on this, I need to understand the nature of this problem which is me.
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