As it turned out, my plan did not work out. Well, it wasn't set into motion actually but it's not because of me this time. I tried to communicate with the person I'm trying to reach out. I tried to settle my matters but looks like my efforts were in vain and perhaps, they were ignored. Maybe I am too late or maybe I'm desperate as one of my friends said.
Maybe the feelings died or maybe there's nothing at all.
I don't know the real reason.
Should I still go after it or should I let it go?
I'm almost near in finally having an answer to that question and it's leaning towards the latter. It's obvious that that person doesn't want to see me at all so why bother although I also thought that I should try at least to say what I feel for that person but this time, the personal way won't happen for a long shot so I might tell it through Facebook or through text messaging or any form of electronic communication.
But it sucks, you know? It sucks because there might be no feeling of sincerity or reality if I send a message saying that I like that person. But what can I do? That person won't make time so I'll really rely on the resources I have to get that message across though I have to really think about saying it or just bury it inside me. If I keep it, the feeling might resurface. If I say it, there's a strong chance I can finally let go if nothing still happens after getting that message across. At least, I won't wallow if I don't get the desired outcome because I know that the chances are slim for me.
On another note, I've been hanging out with my friends and I introduced hookah to them a month ago which they enjoyed. My siblings introduced that to me before I showed it to my friends. At first, it was okay but a few weeks later, I think it triggered one of my friends to start smoking. As of last Sunday, he consumes one pack of cigarettes a day and I'm worried.
I never thought that he was a smoker. He never told us he smoked during his high school or college days. I presumed he was a non-smoker but when he smoked for the first time in front of my friends (I was absent that time), another friend told me he smokes as if he already knew how to smoke before.
Last Sunday, I tried smoking too. I had a stick and I don't know if I liked the feeling or not but I ended up having a headache when I went home after our hookah session at a coffee shop. The menthol flavor felt like it's piercing my throat. But at least, I finally tried it and I now know what it feels like when smoking. I don't know if I'll try it again in the future but let's hope I won't because I really don't like its side effects.
What else... I have a week off that started last Sunday and it'll just be until Friday because the lead actress of the show I'm employed at had another shoot for another show so she's not available for our scheduled shooting days. I'll be heading back to the location this Saturday.
I'm actually having a good time during the shoots for that particular show I'm in. The people there are really awesome to work with. They're actually funny and when it's serious, they're also really serious as that's how we're supposed to act during work. I'm okay with the compensation because it's the experience that counts anyway.
Well, that's it. Thank you for your time in reading this. I don't mean to blurt this all out here but I just want to let it out so thanks.
Sincerely,
Zepp
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