Bottled Up Inside

I think I went overboard yesterday. Lots of overthinking. Pressured, stressed, tired. I'm an emotional train wreck. What the hell is going on with me? Last night, I just shut myself out, went to the balcony of our apartment and just stared at a distance, at the people, at the night sky. Then I had this realization.

No one can help me. 

I'm not going suicidal with this. Suicide is just overrated. What I mean is that I got no one to talk to with my problems. People have been running to me with their problems and I help them get through their ordeals. I have no problem with that but I think I had a little too much...? They've all bottled up inside me and somehow took me over. Now I feel helpless to the point that I have no idea who I can talk to.

I feel like I want to talk to a stranger like a psychiatrist. Especially a psychiatrist. I feel that I can talk to him or her with my thoughts as he or she sits on a chair listening intently. He or she won't think anything bad about me and he or she will give me advice and just that, as simple as that. Nothing will be broken.

Sorry if this post is just too negative or dark and a bit inconsistent in terms of sense. Just expressing myself.