I'm emotionally on the verge of cracking up right now. It is weird that I always get cranky and sometimes, I end up doing something reckless and shitty that it reaches to the point of regret. What I'm going through right now may look like hell to me but it is still petty to adults. It's nothing to them because they all say they've been there and they've done it but that's beside the point.
My head is spinning and I am getting restless. You have been reading the same old whines over and over again and this time, I'm this close to exploding. This frakking close. I am shutting down. My mind is shutting down and I am not liking this. Who does? I guess I had too much happiness that my mind is finally getting lazy.
But why now? Why this semester? It's already the last semester of my college life and I'm frakking shutting down. I could totally use some time alone to think and maybe a day with someone to talk to. I think I can't talk to my best friend as we have this tendency to set the atmosphere into something heavy and too serious that I can't bear.
I want to talk to someone who can enlighten me without thinking of anything like what I'm going through is ridiculous to that person. I want to talk to someone who can assure to me that everything will really be okay without giving too much advice and bombarding my head with it. I want to be relaxed when I talk to this someone. I want to lean my head on her shoulder and if and when I cry, I want her to hug me and let me cry while I still can.
Maybe it's finally time I should get a girlfriend. A real one. I can use some other form of happiness here.
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