My Own Saga: Breaking Down Part 4 (Letting Go)

Dear You,

First of all, forgive me for doing this on my blog. I am still finding ways to say it personally... and I'm still looking for the time and guts to say it. But if you ever got the chance to read this, I would like to say sorry.

I'm sorry. These past few months and days, I've been thinking. Every time I'm with you, it's not the same as before. I'm not that happy when I'm with you. I don't feel so enlightened anymore when I'm with you. Instead, I can feel this heaviness inside me. Then, I just realized yesterday what's going on with us.

We're growing up and growing apart. We live in two different worlds now. It's not like in high school anymore where we can share the pain and comfort each other. It's not like that anymore. Our differences begin to manifest. We have different ideas and beliefs. When we contradict each other, you find ways to push what you know. You try to shove in into my head. At least, that's how I look at it. I can be open about things but when I know that someone's trying to push thoughts and things into my head too much, I stop and shut down.

Not only one of us has changed. Both of us changed and these changes have set us apart. I've grown so estranged to you. Our differences have made this gap between us and when we try to close the gaps, the air gets heavier on my side. Our friendship, like people say, is one-sided and complicated or complex.

I had enough of the complications in our friendship. When I want to be with my friends, I want to take things or life in general lightly. I don't want any burdens. When I seek comfort, I want to be enlightened and have more faith and options for myself. When you open your mouth, sometimes, what you say makes my problems more complicated and what's worse is that we both tend to think too much. I don't want to think too much with a friend. I seek company to help me, not to crush me.

I'm sorry if I offended you with all I said here. But that's how I feel right now. Maybe being best friends is not really best for us. We can be just good or close friends from here on out. I hope you understand and please consider what I feel as you read this.

Sincerely,
Zepp