No, this is not the brainstorm where we share thoughts and ideas and stuffs. This is the literal brain storm, as in surge of thoughts are rushing simultaneously in my brain. They're swirling in this vortex and pounding my brain against my skull like some tumor but of course, I don't have any tumor in my head... Not that I'm aware of.
It's all the same old whine you've been reading here. I'm pressured. I'm stressed. And I am tired. Jaded. Exhausted. (I'm going dramatic... Ugh. Curse this sh*t.) Yet, there are a lot of things to be done. Like I said before, there is no more room, no more time to take a deep breath. No more time to sit and think. No more space to just stare at the sun, stare at the clouds, stare at the vast fields (if there's one in this urban jungle). There's basically no more time for myself.
Every time I turn and look somewhere else, there's always the school works. There's always the petty drama of my life. There's always the sappy, emotional torment. They are the claws that want to rip me to shreds, figuratively speaking.
Then, there's the time. It's moving fast yet the time we have is pretty short and we'll never notice the time passing by, sneaking behind us until it bites us in the ass. I know we have a lot of breaks and I should be thankful about it but unfortunately, I can't smile about it. We unfortunately have some school works so there's technically little time to rest. Well, I guess it all ends up in time management.
I'm also drowning in school works. I have to bear the fact that I'll just be stressed no matter where I look at it. Of course, I know the association of stress to school works but I'm concerned about the degree or level of stress I'll get from these school works. I want to decrease the stress because I'm still young and these problems seem to be a bit meager to adults. I still have a lot to experience so what if I finally stepped into the real world and I'm already worn out?
This is the last semester. After this, say hello to the real world where pain is more real than high school or college. I'm supposed to enhance myself and be more mature about things and stuff but yeah, I'm falling apart. I'm messed up. I'm sh*tty as crap. I'm totally lost. My mind can't think straight these past few days. If you see me by the corridors, my face either looks blank or bleak. My genuine or real laughter is going to the rarity side these days.
I thought things will finally work out the way I saw it before the semester started but due to my stubbornness and some other factors, I failed. I must kick my ass first before I can start moving.
(Looks like I spilled my problems here. A bit of inconsistency with Part 1.)
No comments:
Post a Comment