My Own Saga: Breaking Down Part 3

That awkward moment when you know you still have a lot of things to do but you're not moving because you have no idea where to start. That awkward moment when you listen to a song and suddenly, you feel tears falling from your eyes.

This is how I am right now. Unproductive and breaking down. In my head, I know I have a lot of things to accomplish but it seems that laziness is bringing out the worst in me. I turned into a slob, something I never wanted to become. Things are just lying somewhere around my room. My bag looks like a dumping ground for papers and such. Papers are accidentally crumpled due to my laziness. I've become a bit disorganized with my schedule. My thoughts are just frantically pouring and I am not thinking well.

I want to go back. Return to how I used to live. (Except for the apartment part, it's still convenient.) I want to live my life like I can still handle things without going nuts over them. I want to feel relaxed in a way that I can face my problems head on without acting careless or reckless or stupid. I want to look up to myself as well. I want to feel happy for myself without forgetting the things I'm supposed to prioritize.

I hope that before the year ends, I can finally begin the recovery so that when the new year arrives, I'm also healed. I do not want to stay forever in this phase. I want to grow up. I want to move on. I want to let most of the unnecessary burdens go and walk my life with the important ones. Finally, I want to breathe.

"You can breathe today."

(Courtesy of YouTube and Octone Records)